Long time no ...

Life has had its ups and downs. More downs than ups as of late.

Since we last spoke...Scott and I have both lost our jobs, our land lord is selling the house we live in, but is graciously letting us live here at a reduced rent. Scott had a cardiac episode which lead to a stay at Edward and several tests later... And he was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. Not to mention our youngest is having the struggle of his life.

Can I catch a break here?

Someone said to Scott-the closer you are to God, the harder the enemy tries to get you out of His grasp. I guess that's true.

Jeremiah 29:11 - GOD HAS A PLAN!

What kind of legacy will I leave?

If God took me home today, besides my family, who would really miss me? How have I touched people, and what kind of actions have I taken that have affected others in a positive way?

I think over my life. The words I have said, the things I have thought and my actions. And I wonder. Am I the best Christ follower I can be? Probably not. Do I live a biblical example of life? Probably not in everything I do.

All I can do is pray that God will guide my words and actions to be an example that He would be proud of.

Frustration is ongoing

Okay, so I had a hysterectomy. I knew I was going to have pain...but not strange new pains that occur. I look online for help and see that there is a myriad of things that can happen to women post hysterectomy. Is this "normal"? I don't know. I'm just tired of being tired and in pain. And I'm back to running a fever. My pain is definitely worse towards the end of the day.

Yes, I will be calling the doctor again.

I will praise God for all he does, and I know there is a message and a testament to His glory in what I am going through.

But sometimes I just get frustrated and tired. Is this normal?

What is normal, anyway??

Frustration of a lot of things

You know, just when you think you're on the edge of it all getting better, you get slapped upside the head with something else.

Nothing big. Nothing life threatening. But another 3 or 4 steps backward.

Sometimes, you just get tired of fighting it all.

And the ride continues

Still running a fever after more than a week. I feel exhausted and frustrated. I knew that this was going to be difficult, but I thought I would be better at handling it. I'm sure a bit of depression is creeping in as Scott and I are strugging financially again. My disability benefit will hit, right when I go back to work. Oh well, it is what it is.

My oldest son did not go into the military as planned, and now is living in the real world looking for a job.

The struggles continue on the custody front with my step son and his mother. Amazing is all I can say to that!!

God has a reason for all that happens and He will be glorified in it all!!

Gone a while

For those of you who don't know, I had a hysterectomy 4 weeks ago. It's been a wild pain ride and an emotional roller coaster to boot. I will try to update more tomorrow, when I have the patience to sit here and type.

:)

struggling

With Jacob's departure, I am struggling. In my head, I know this is not my doing. But listening to words said, I FEEL totally responsible for tearing a family apart. I am hurting more than I ever imagined I could. I ache for my husband who (temporarily) has lost his son. And I don't know what I can do to make it right.